Where do I enroll for so-called-'experts' university

As a result of the morning newstainment (And I use prefix 'news' loosely) war going on between 7 and 9 targeting the - morning mums getting the kids off to school - market and dickhead blokes who aren't already at work looking to perve on jessica rowe or mel(.....I don't know her full name they only refer to each other in nicknames-but ill get to that shortly) it has been brought to light or at least to my attention that there is an excess of so-called-experts out there.

in morning newstainment lingo they are referred to by many terms like social commentator or entertainment correspondent and not 5 minutes goes by where we don't have at least 3 of them having a 'forum' on some issue which quickly detracts in to a government bash session as there welfare payments aren't large enough, which got me thinking maybe these so-called-experts are exclusive to no specific industry.....In simple terms...They are media whores who scap for an appearance fee on the morning newstainment programs.

People like Lisa Wilkinson, who the hell is this whore? oh that's right she's a social commentator....I talk about stuff...Does that qualify me a social commentator??????? This bitch fills in for balding and the pen-twirler on the weekends with the most prolific user of ecstasy in Australia....andrew o'keefe (of deal or no deal fame) who is always way to happy. These jerks push there opinion down peoples throats under the guise that they are so-called-experts.

With Lisa Wilkinson apparently she is an editor of magazine or was who cares at the end of the day kerry stokes...or formerly kerry packer dictated what went on the cover not some social commentating whore. which makes sense to as they are the only experts out there with any nouse to make a dollar...So as u can see its more of an opinion than fact and its newstainment rather than news or entertainment exclusively. We can't even call it information that would imply that it was useful in some sort of way or at least credible.

which brings me to the point I touched on earlier nick-name calling, some producer some where has decided that people can associate better with the people keeping them informed if they think of them as a friend........ What a load of bulls#$t.

david koche: "hey mel, nat and berets im a light-heated news dude"

Mel (whoever): "hey kochie nat and berets lets laugh for the next 10 minutes for no reason at all....ahahahahaha...and so on for the next 9 minutes and 50 secs (so fake you would be forgiven thinking milli vanilli had resurrected their career)

seconds later....they make an announcement about the budget or something serious about money;

mel: " hey kochie tell us about the budget"
kochie: "look mel my name is Mr koche or david in the right context, after all I am the former ch 7 money expert"

and there's that word again.....

so if there are so many experts out there where is the: So-Called-'experts' University???

I've done some investigating and found out that the University of so-called-experts is quite large...the largest in the world in fact, and whilst it doesn't have the pedigree of Harvard or Yale it does have more campus' then all the universities combined.

Surely if there are so many you would have come across one by now? Well you have; they just don't advertise, because if they did then all the jobs on the newstainment programs would be taken by an endless procession of graduates. And where are they coming from you ask? they are located in every toilet cubicle around the world with the 'degree-dispenser' located on the wall or behind the door.

armed with these degrees in being a so-called-expert they come on the newstainment programs peddle their dribble passing it off as fact, leading the mums getting the kids off to school uneducated and angry at the world...or at the very least demanding questions off their husbands when they get home from a long hard days work.