get out of the way...its the bandwagon

well,

its that time again the bandwagon has rolled into town....

last time it picked up the dengenerates who get their rocks off on watching grown men playing netball with their feet, sound familiar; "wing attack to centre to full forward" ....YAWN...."Goal!!!!" no wait he missed, not to worry we'll give him a point anyway, after all men were not meant to play netball with their feet.

The game was born due to Victorian cricket players having nothing to do in the winter and they thought it was a soft way to stay active without getting hurt before the cricket season starts again.

a bit harsh you say.......well I don't see any league players removing themselves from the field because they are too tired; like the North Melbourne Kangaroo full forward.....TOO TIRED!!!.....You sat in front of goal all day setting up your camp fire sitting around singing Kum-Bai-Ya staying fresh while potting 6 goals cause everyone else in that area was too tired to stop you, as they were busy running around.

now where was I? oh, that's right the bandwagon, well Syndey siders hang your heads in shame as the band wagon moved through town it resembled an Indian train packed to capacity with crazy venkats not knowing where they are heading but jumping on as so many uneducated others were....possibly to put some good blokes bag in a tree, I just don't know

but I digress.

now they pack it out most weeks at the S.C.G. until the day they lose and the bandwagons rolls out of town will be what they all deserve claiming that after sydney has put forward the money and support to win a premiership and to then call themselves south melbourne..... Oh how I look forward to that day.

Excceding this travestry however in a 4 year anomaly the world cup of dive-ball has arrived.
NB: I like Dive-ball and follow it regularly, well... as best as I can, not as much as friends of mine but I try.

These bandwagon mounters are sucking my will to live now, when it starts they will deadset be killing me. most likely due to scenarios like this where armchair idiots vioce their "opinion"

e.g. the rebecca wilsons of the world...."ive always loved soccer...especially since they play in a 4-4-4 formation..."
ME: ahhumm, rebecca you whore, don't you mean 4-4-2
RW:" no 4-4-4"
ME: ok then tell me what it refers too?
RW:"well, I don't know I read it in someone elses article then reproduced it poorly in my own column and passed it off as my own work."

der right that explains alot. F#%K off and die, stop stealing my oxygen, or better yet go and spruik dive ball in the middle east, at least they'll put you in your place as this country has seemingly neglected to or has deemed what you say worthy of printspace/air time.

the truth is now every arm chair expect will come out of the woodwork - after whinging about his north Sydney bears or illawarra steelers disappearing - after each game and crapping on about how great it was that ronaldmcdonolado scored a great point (sic) only to be corrected by some other dickhead bandwagon jumper, proclaiming his name is infact rondolo and its a goal not a point.

well your half right you fool but what you forgot to mention is that you only saw the game cause the tool attached to your forehead managed to swing out of the way of your eyeline long enough for you to attempt to read his name which you couldn't comprehend anyway. God forbid you knew what club he played for or position for that matter better yet what country hes playing for. and no the blue team is not an exceptable answer

do us all a favor and buy a swans ticket, rugby league doesn't need your patronage....and don't come crawling back either when the world cup is over, we don't want you, you made your dive-ball bed now you can lye in it.

with the bandwagon fueled excitment of dive-ball at fever pitch I wouldn't be suprised if you wouldn't keep the hysteria going by purchasing a Local LEague season ticket....im sure you won't however stoop to getting a Sydney fc ticket only biggest of bandwagon jumpers would be stupid enough to follow the craze through that far, and for those that do ill be waiting at the gate laughing at you when u say "that was nothing like the world cup....What have I done, i thought this sport was the sleeping giant in Australia?" yeah while the bandwagon is in town...

The elderly serve a purpose...

Nothing could be further from the truth,

and let me quantify that statement by saying that the elderly is anyone over 60 and anyone who displays the same characteristics that an elderly person would.
that is a broad sweeping statement so ill articulate itby saying anyone who opens a conversation about the weather, whinging about the price of a $2.60 pensioner train ticket, Bert Newton (who is 68 some actually still are sane...He is not), and the whinging dickheads who I work with.

these men inparticular will come up with some insightful meaningful stuff....Then they'll say things like if a football team is losing "its not the coach out there missing the tackles" mate your an idiot, the 'coach' provides the game plan in 2006 not the strippers after the game like in 1965-75 when u were in your heyday now shutup and take your medicine.

back to old people in general how many times have you been driving down the street and had some oldtimer wearing a hat do something stupid in his vehicle, or some old lady just sitting there not moving arhhhhhh. The solution to this is simple and was tabled at a young Liberals meeting in Queensland and along with the nutrient extraction system originally published by Ross Perot, and that is G_PLATES. Simple and effective anyone over the age of 60 should have to use G-plates, so if your driving along with your youthful reaction times and vision that actually works then you spot a g-plate you will have plenty of time to take evasive action, as you can rest assured they will do something stupid. how Australian Pensioners Insurance can insure these ding-bats i do not know.

and what about the conviction opener....."hows about that sunshine" or "gee its meant to rain today" mate ill watch the news if I want a weather repot now beat it. That sad truth is this is the only thing that hasn't changed in the last 100 years is the only thing they have anything to talk about. Or they might stray into a story about how they had to wear an onion on their belt....Which was the style at the time. I am far to busy to listen to some oldtimer tell me something which is bleedingly obvious there are no clouds in the sky and its a nice day. IT WAS A NICE DAY until you ruined it by wasting my time telling me about something I can look to the sky and see myself.

but the real reason and the one that annoys me the most which is the the reason for this post, is old dickheads an footy. Nobody cares what you have to say... these are now professional athletes not knock about mates raping chicks and it being acceptable. Hence the reason the Tommy Raudonikas's of the world are driving cabs and the new age Footy player from Brisbane owns 4 macca's or the one from Sydney appears on dancing with the stars pursuing a media career (not that I condone that). Like touting players a tough, like forever youngy ( as tatooed on his back), IF he were tough he would bring a player down on first contact and not get bumped, if he were 'tough' he would not rely on his old man carrying him through the selection process. And hes just one example there are many more.

if old people spent as much effort on learning the differences in football or life in general as they do insisting on pronunciations like can-berra or I-talians the world would be a more tolerable place im not naive I know ill be old too one day but I'll
A) hang out with other old people and not waste young peoples time or
B) go ski diving without a parachute